It is an honorable matter...

Glasnost: Either I'm cracking up, or it is the sanest thing I've ever done.
Ex-wife informs me of her intent to relocate to Virginia within 60 days (13JUN08) come hell or high water. This goes counter to all previous agreements & understanding. She'd said she would wait until she'd sold our old house and pay me the balance of my assets ($100,000.00) before she moved. Also pertinent to this case is my entitlement to custody of our 5-year-old son for the months of June & July.
Trauma= Shock, denial, rage, depression and finally, acceptance & planning.
Options:
(I) Relinquish two months of custody, let them go, stay at my job until my cabin sells, and catch up with them later. This would give me the most financial security but break my heart.

(II) Enforce custody rights, take leave-of-absence from job for June & July, spending time with son. Meanwhile Ex moves to VA. and I would drive our son out there at the end of July. I'd then return to work until my cabin sells, at which time I'd move out there.

(III) Quit job, move to VA. and hope I can somehow afford to pay the mortgage on my cabin while waiting for it to sell.

At this time I'm leaning towards the middle option (II). I spoke with my realtor and lowered the price of my cabin by $15,000.00 (to $105,000.00). I also contacted a couple of apartment buildings in VA. to have them send me information packets.

I dunno what I'm gonna do, but I've only got my sons' interests at heart.

The good news is that I saved $250.00 per month on motorcycle insurance by switching to Allstate!

Dasvidanya, Mujeets.

"Life's a journey, not a destination."

that sux man.
my parents got divorced and i didnt get to see my dad for a while. it sucked really bad.
i was like 2 at the time but i remember it.
but also, it just makes me mad that my mom did that, i know it wasnt my dads fault.
id say option 2 also.

HOLY SHIT, you SAVED 250/month???!?!
What WAS it?
I'm at 29.05/month and im 19 years old.
And go with II

Very sorry to hear it. Things will get worse for a little, then get better. Hang in there.

option two brother, i have two boys and cant imagine being without them for any amount of time.  good luck man, hang in there, things will pan out for you.

Gray,
I have to suggest you go with the first option.  I know that your life revolves around your son, but you HAVE to be in good place financially in order to move and take care of the business that directly effects your son.  If you stop working, you will not have the means to move, will you?  If you have no job, will you be able to provide food and such while you have him?  Of course I am assuming that your wife will not have sold your house and you wouldn't have the money owed you.  Sometimes doing the proper thing hurts.  Sometimes the things that help you on the short term are not good for the long term.  Think about this thing from 30,000 feet instead of ground level.  I think you will know what you need to do.

yea i said option 2 assuming u have the money to do so.
anyone who is owed 100,000 dollars is usually pretty well off whenit comes to money.
so i say2, if u can realistically do that

Gray, I must agree with Chris on this one. I realize it is truly the hardest of all your options, but will be the most beneficial and I personally know how hard it is to be separated from a son, and in my case, a wife. It makes no difference whether it is 200 miles 2000 miles or half a world away. It doesn't make it any easier. Just keep focused on your long-term objective, and endeavor to persevere and as always, my brother my door is open to you. You need to do nothing more than pick up the phone and call anytime if I can be of any help at all.

Avoid marriage at all costs, as the church, who directly sponsors traditional marriage, is also the organization that created the devil.

Whatever your journey, I wish you the best of luck and prosperity. Whatever the outcome, be emotionally open and supportive to your son, as that is the most important. My father locked us all out emotionally when ma dukes gave him the boot, and that was awful.

Id say 2 whether you are financially stable or not.  Think about your boy its gotta be hard enough for him that you two are divorcing not to mention your ex is moving way.  the kids gotta be flipping all over the place.  When my p's got divorced i was 13 and had to be man of the house.  Dad was gone didnt see him for QUITE some time.  im 25 now and hes spent years trying to make up for not being there.  made me grow up quick though and i guess in the end things happen for a reason.  The point of the story is you dont want your son to think you are abandoning him. Hes 5 you say? im sure it has been mentioned that he is going to be by daddy for that time and if it doesnt happen no matter what you tell him (hes 5) hes going to feel somewhat left to the side.  Im not trying to say anyones points arent valid but thats just my 2 cents.
Best of luck bro

Dobra veche Tovarich ! Panjemajo Pa Russki ? Nyet ?
Then I'd better speak English......je prade rji ?
1 Stay in your job. Legal battles to enforce custody rights are strengthened when you have fulltime employment, and a solid home for the litle one during visits.
If you're in a well-paid job, stick with it, however hard it may be.
2 15000 US would go a long way towards a new bike or car, or even a college fund . Don't just dump the house at give-away value just to hurry the process.
Look at it this way - how long would it take for you to save 15000 bucks ?
3 Does your wife have the right to take the little one out of state on a permanent basis (legally) ?
My 2c worth, and Dos Vidanye, Tovarich !

Aww, POOP! I feel as if my heart is being ripped out by this effing pathological c-word! Until my son was born, my life was dictated by cold-blooded strategy and ruthless tactics. Now, thanks to this angel, I know what love is and my decision-making process is commandeered by emotion. I take this as a sign that I am joining the human race. It has been a terrifying experience to open up to y'all, but y'all have inspired me with your courage. I admire and respect this forum. Voodoo and Hardcorp have my trust and so it is with great faith that I proceed with option one.

If I were a selfish-elfish I'd be rippin' across the Ukraine right now, with panniers full of travellers checks, and a leggy mountaineer named Tatiana on pillion! Instead, I'm up in here, broke as a joke in mudville, where there is no joy tonight.

"Those that have the gold make the rules."___Cicero.

just wondering, but why would you need to take a leave of absense from work for 2 months?  you could find a babysitter or something for him during the day while your at work.  i wouldnt really move to VA if you dont want to.  next thing you know your ex is gonna get another hair up her ass and wanna move to someplace else and your gonna have to follow again.
 
i dont have kids, do my advice is prolly shit.  but i would try and get more time with the kid, like from the week after and week before school starts.  and i would def stay put.  no sense in moving all over the place and having to start all over.  shadow1 makes some real good points as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Raven
"Those that have the gold make the rules."___Cicero.

 
That quote changed my life just over a year ago.  Life is much better now because I seem to understand it a little better.  It was very frustrating for me before, life that is.  Not the day to day shit, but the real stuff.  The stuff real stuff is made of.
 
Meh I'm rambling but it's weird how different things can provoke profound enlightenment for some and off-handed rationalizations for others...
 
Cest la vi.
 
Congrats on your decision, take guts to even take a stance and stick with it.  Much easier, and more common to r-u-n-n-o-f-t.

i am in agreement with Voodoo and Harpcorp, work hard,a nd get though it, call you kid every day and do what you can. fly down and visit if you have to. spending $500 bucks on a flight for the weekend is much cheaper than missing 2 months of work. and you will be in a much better position financially. also dizzy has a point, couldnt you find childcare while you were working? every single parent in america does.

bro, i feel you, my 2c is to fight, go with #1 its the best way to do it. not for you but for your son, its all about your boy now, hell with her, FIGHT, if she can't legaly leave the state with the boy, she will not like what happens, if she leaves the state while you have him in cust, bring her back to court for abandonment, seriously! if you get him for those two months and she leaves, fight like there is NO TOMORROW! its your boy, fight. 

For background on custody battle decisions, read my thread "Divorce decree amendment..help!" As to babysitting, sadly, I am all alone in this ville and I work 9p-5a, so no daycare avails. I've thought long and hard about my options and the only guiding lights are the needs of the child and y'all. I really appreciate yer input, it helps alot. Peace,G.

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the tyranny of evil men and the inequities of the selfish..."___Ezekial, paraphrased by Jules Minnifield in Pulp fiction.

there has got to be a place around you that can watch the kid, or even like a high school chick that needs a summer job or something.  where do you live anyways?

I'd vote for option #1 myself. I have two boys and while I'd go crazy if I did not see them daily I also know that if I'm not financially sound with a sound job things just get tougher with the courts and with my stress level.
 
Dropping everything may seem like a plan, but being stable is far better.

I "live" in Ruidoso, New Mexico. It is a very small town in the Lincoln National Forest. It is halfway up a 12,000 ft. mountain and there are very limited possibilities, in all respects. When I moved here, I had unrealistic expectations. I really want to hate Charlottesville, Virginia, but upon investigation I have discovered that it is full of opportunities. I believe God has a plan for me and this is just part of it. What I want/need the most right now is a buyer for my cabin. That would be an answer to my prayers. Until then, I'm stuck in a rut! Peace, G.