The incident at 130

Alright guys so here is my story.
 
So I was starting off my day normal as usual, I get up go to school and my first class. Everything is fine and its basically just a boring day. Well I have a class at two and a big presentation due. Well I go to the lab work on it for a about 2 hours......Then it began, my stomach started to rumble like an earthquake. I honestly tried to ignore it but the sensation and BGs were getting worse and worse. I really needed to work on the presentation but i knew there was no way I could make it through a two hour class with this terrible feeling. So i only had one choice. I had to run to the one bathroom where its clean and no one knows about. So I walk across campus to the library and waddle my way up to the fifth floor of the library. Wow I didnt think I would make it there but I did... This is where the real problems start, so this is supposed to be the one place no one takes a shit. Well I walk in and there is an asshole in the stall. Well this wouldnt be a big problem if there were a couple stalls down I could squat and let out the this inner beast that was troubling me for the past 15 mins. Well I decide I gotta pinch it and wait for him to finish. I give him five min and see someone walk out. YES im in, so i go in and he is still there. This is when I get really pissed. I cant sit in the stall right next to him. There are things hitting the water and noises I cant bear hear nor let him hear. (Not to mention the sound that might errupt. Well I stand in the stall for ten more min and four guys come in to piss. I mean what is going on. It took the damn guy 20 mins to leave. So this leaves me 5 mins to blast this toliet away and make it to my presentation.
 
I figured I was safe going to the one bathroom on the top floor that no one goes to. I guess I picked a bad day. I guess you would say I got a potty phobia when it comes to pooping in the stall right next to me. Sorry for the long story but I had to tell someone and I figured hell why not you guys.

^^ If you were really mad at him, you should have dropped your pants, squatted over toilet and blast it out. That would have gave him a hint.

Who drops a duce for 20 mins in a public bathroom though.

Ill drop a duece where ever I need to. Why were you waiting for him again?

Did you lodge a complaint to the campus authority??

Hahaha this reminds me of the Epic pooper post a while back. Next time just blow him away. He'll think twice about reading the newspaper while taking a dump!

quote:

  I figured I was safe going to the one bathroom on the top floor that no one goes to. I guess I picked a bad day. I guess you would say I got a potty phobia when it comes to pooping in the stall right next to me. Sorry for the long story but I had to tell someone and I figured hell why not you guys.

 
You gotta let them rip when its time, don't hold them back too long, you'll break something inside. Now the real question 'why do you care if some dude hears you take a crap?'
 
Since I have spent most of my life in therapy, I think I can help.....
 
Many would suggest repressed homosexual tendencies, because the man in the next stall could be the next sexual conquest, but I disagree. I think it is a need to 'fit in' with your peers. You probably spend a good amount of time thinking about your image and how people percieve your appearance. You excercise, but not excessively, so my guess is circuit training twice per week although you claim 3 times per week.  You use hair gel and whitening toothpaste, cologne everyday. You wear a casual watch, set 5 minutes ahead so you won't be late and dissappoint anyone.
 
Your childhood was spent in the cub scouts where pooping in the woods was traumatic to the young Fitz. This bonding experienced juxtaposed against the need to crap created a deep seated fear to poop in a crowd. As the young Fitz reach puberty he was probably locked in porta-potty at the country fair after the hog calling contest. The crowd knew it was a matter of time before he crapped and when he let on loose, they screamed and jeered. It was another traumatic day.
 
My professional opinion is to eat 4 ears of corn today (no butter) and drink nothing but seltzer water. Then find the most crowded bathroon on campus and do your business. After that you will be cured.

I'll take any open stall and I could honestly care less who hears what. If you actually waited that long it's 100% on you, not the other guy.

Now peeing next to someone at a urinal with no walls... that can be strange sometimes. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: vpsophmore

Now peeing next to someone at a urinal with no walls... that can be strange sometimes. 

 
Yea I hate that shit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: vpsophmore

Now peeing next to someone at a urinal with no walls... that can be strange sometimes. 

I had a traumatic experience with a meat watcher at a urinal with no walls. Messed me up for years.


Fitz, I do the same thing you do. I find an empty bathroom especially if it's a mid workout poop because all hell is seriously going to break loose. Just yesterday, I waddled my ass to two different bathrooms so I could blow up in privacy. I don't find it wierd. I think it's a comfort level thing. I'm not comfortable laying atomic waste unless I'm alone. Hell, most of the time, I go to the opposite end of the house from my fiance to poop. Imagine my displeasure when she comes down to that side of the house right after I've started.

haha, +1 to finding an empty bathroom.  Strangely, the only time i didn't care was amongst friends, namely teammates where we often participated in rousing games of battleshits.  In the office though now that I'm out of college I feel like that isn't appropriate, and if more than one of the four stalls already is occupied, i try again ever 5 min till it's more free in there.

everybody poops.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fishfryer527

quote:

  I figured I was safe going to the one bathroom on the top floor that no one goes to. I guess I picked a bad day. I guess you would say I got a potty phobia when it comes to pooping in the stall right next to me. Sorry for the long story but I had to tell someone and I figured hell why not you guys.

You gotta let them rip when its time, don't hold them back too long, you'll break something inside. Now the real question 'why do you care if some dude hears you take a crap?'

Since I have spent most of my life in therapy, I think I can help.....

Many would suggest repressed homosexual tendencies, because the man in the next stall could be the next sexual conquest, but I disagree. I think it is a need to 'fit in' with your peers. You probably spend a good amount of time thinking about your image and how people percieve your appearance. You excercise, but not excessively, so my guess is circuit training twice per week although you claim 3 times per week.  You use hair gel and whitening toothpaste, cologne everyday. You wear a casual watch, set 5 minutes ahead so you won't be late and dissappoint anyone.

Your childhood was spent in the cub scouts where pooping in the woods was traumatic to the young Fitz. This bonding experienced juxtaposed against the need to crap created a deep seated fear to poop in a crowd. As the young Fitz reach puberty he was probably locked in porta-potty at the country fair after the hog calling contest. The crowd knew it was a matter of time before he crapped and when he let on loose, they screamed and jeered. It was another traumatic day.

My professional opinion is to eat 4 ears of corn today (no butter) and drink nothing but seltzer water. Then find the most crowded bathroon on campus and do your business. After that you will be cured.

 
LMAO

quote:

ORIGINAL: sixhundredrr

quote:

ORIGINAL: vpsophmore

Now peeing next to someone at a urinal with no walls... that can be strange sometimes. 

I had a traumatic experience with a meat watcher at a urinal with no walls. Messed me up for years.


Fitz, I do the same thing you do. I find an empty bathroom especially if it's a mid workout poop because all hell is seriously going to break loose. Just yesterday, I waddled my ass to two different bathrooms so I could blow up in privacy. I don't find it wierd. I think it's a comfort level thing. I'm not comfortable laying atomic waste unless I'm alone. Hell, most of the time, I go to the opposite end of the house from my fiance to poop. Imagine my displeasure when she comes down to that side of the house right after I've started.

 
i almost got in a fight at a basketball game bc of that shit.  some guy just staring at my meat like he hadnt seen one before.
 
what gives.

lol, for a minute this started to remind me of a similar situation i went through in high school....but i wasnt so lucky.

it takes time to become comfortable letting it loose with someone next to you. just keep practicing and you'll be just fine!

I feel ya bro.  We have 4 mens rooms in my office building and I will hit every one till I find an open one if I have to bust loose.  I hate when you in there busting loose and there are 2 other stalls open and the dip shit uses the one right next to you.  The rule is to leave and open stall between two people if the option is there. 
 
I also hate pissing by someone with no devider.  To me going to the bath room is something enjoyed alone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bumble Bee

I feel ya bro.  We have 4 mens rooms in my office building and I will hit every one till I find an open one if I have to bust loose.  I hate when you in there busting loose and there are 2 other stalls open and the dip shit uses the one right next to you.  The rule is to leave and open stall between two people if the option is there. 

I also hate pissing by someone with no devider.  To me going to the bath room is something enjoyed alone.

Yeah, it surprises me sometimes how people disrespect the Man Code.

32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.


41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiker14

haha, +1 to finding an empty bathroom.  Strangely, the only time i didn't care was amongst friends, namely teammates where we often participated in rousing games of battleshits.  In the office though now that I'm out of college I feel like that isn't appropriate, and if more than one of the four stalls already is occupied, i try again ever 5 min till it's more free in there.

everybody poops.

HAHA i want to play

quote:

ORIGINAL: td3692

lol, for a minute this started to remind me of a similar situation i went through in high school....but i wasnt so lucky.

 
that reminds me of my hs days.  When football season started I got on a regular schedule, one crap right before school started and the next right after school before practice.  I had to hit the bathroom within about a 5 minute interval everyday or all hell would break loose.  The problem was the stall doors in the school were all taken off so the teachers could catch kids smoking in the bathrooms, and even worse, these stalls faced right into the sink.  So there I would be every morning, trying to take a duke with some dude washing his hands right in front of me.  I'd always try to act casual and give the "s'up" nod when they saw me in the mirror.  So I'm pretty much healed from crapping in public now.  I've dropped a load pretty much everywhere by now.

Maybe next time you should try the womens bathroom, cause you sound like a pussy. Who cares if you hear someone shit or they hear you, everybody poops

Man... thought I was going to get to read a post about something happening at 130 [mph], looks like instead I accidentally stumbled into a 1:30 'group powder' in the Ladies' Room.

But since I'm already here... gimmie a Sharpie, I'll write on the stall:

quote:

ORIGINAL:  Damn near everybody

Oh, I don't like to 1 or 2, when somebody can see/hear/smell/whatever. 

Wow, save for a few, what a bunch of pussies... 

Men, <ahem>, we're animals... and with that comes the responsibility of doing animal things - whenever, wherever, with whomever around.  It's our luxury of being part of the animal kingdom.

When was the last time you saw a big group of elephants or chickens make a fuss over something like this?  Tuna don't care, and neither do rattlesnakes... ditto for zebras.  And to this day, a bear still shits in the woods - I promise.

See what I'm sayin'??

Sure, nowadays modern society dictates a courtesy 'one stall gap' between if possible, of course, the 'courtesy flush', and if you've got 'em, light a match.  But the courtesy ends there... it's a bathroom - that's what happens there.  Just go in, do your business, and get on with the rest of your day - no more keeping 'potty-secrets'.

And as for you pee-shyers...  Listen at you - all embarassed somebody might see your tools.  Yo, you catch somebody peeking at your junk, you just give it a good grab with a head-back nod that says, "You wish you could get somma 'dis!"

Attitude, fellas, it's all in the attitude.  We're at the top of the animal kingdom, and we need to start acting like it. 

I urge you to go into your own bathroom right now, and browse thru your magazine collection to see what might be causing this - as I suspect there may be a few.  Clear out the all the issues of your gf's Cosmo that have been clouding your heads with ideas of the 'polite way to take a dump in public'.  No more issues of People.  Hell, even GQ, Esquire, and Details might have to go.  Replace them with current issues of stoolside classics:

• Guns and Ammo
  
• Hustler
  
• Cycle World
  
• Victoria's Secret Catalog

That's what men marking their territory read - time to step up, ladies.


So, next time you're faced with a dilemma like this, ask yourself, "What would a yeti do?"

Problem solved.

quote:

ORIGINAL:  reydelaplaya
Wow, save for a few, what a bunch of pussies... 

And don't go giving me any #2 about this... you know I was just kidding.

^ lol

Personally, I try to keep a 1 stall buffer zone, but if there's three stalls with someone dropping their kids off at the pool in the first one and the third one has got that tropical island thing going on where there's 9 feet of balled-up toilet paper and a log sticking straight up out of the bowl, I'm damn well going to use the middle stall.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bassJAM

quote:

ORIGINAL: td3692

lol, for a minute this started to remind me of a similar situation i went through in high school....but i wasnt so lucky.

that reminds me of my hs days.  When football season started I got on a regular schedule, one crap right before school started and the next right after school before practice.  I had to hit the bathroom within about a 5 minute interval everyday or all hell would break loose.  The problem was the stall doors in the school were all taken off so the teachers could catch kids smoking in the bathrooms, and even worse, these stalls faced right into the sink.  So there I would be every morning, trying to take a duke with some dude washing his hands right in front of me.  I'd always try to act casual and give the "s'up" nod when they saw me in the mirror.  So I'm pretty much healed from crapping in public now.  I've dropped a load pretty much everywhere by now.

 
i didnt wanna thread jack but ill share mine. one day while sitting in science class i started getting these really sharp pains in my gut about 5 mins before class was over. so i rode it out till the bell rang. well the pains went away so i just went to my next class. BAM it started again so i got up and went to the bathroom.......totally obliterated the bathroom, no lie i went medieval on the stall. thought i was good to go so i go back to class, about 10 mins later my gut started hurting again so i told the teacher i was sick and was gonna go to the nurse and get a pass to leave. i stopped by the bathroom on the way to the nurse and continued my assault on that poor stall. so i get to the nurse and i ended up having to wait like an hour before i could leave because they couldnt get ahold of my mom to give me the ok to leave (looking back on it now i would have just said screw you and left anyways). so finally i get the ok to leave the campus. now i lived within 5 mins walking distance so i always walked to and from school. i walk off campus and as im cutting across the feild in front of my school, while in midstep without any warning what so ever.......the floodgates just opened. never in my life before or since have i unleashed such a crapping. that was the worst walk of my life.

damn this threat blew up! man I know the feelin it sucks... but when you gotta go... you go! I use to care but I travel to much and I am use to it now. It normally happens to me when I am at a big client's place or a big important training. OH that sucks! but then again... I'm the a**hole texting my co-workers "Captain we got a floater!"