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Your best drunk story - 8/7/2007 6:31:39 PM   
longhorns0942


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What has been your best drunken night???

Mine was in 2005.  i was 19 and a few of my buddies went to a private college where all the parties were in houses in a rich area of town.  2 buddies of mine and i start off around 8 at night with pints.  we each just take straight shots of vodka.  we just went in a circle, one after another.  so it took us maybe 15 min to down a pint....not a good idea for later on.

We decided to roll out with a dd of course to the college, maybe a 25 min ride because of city streets and lights.  we get to my buddies ex's dorm and start to drink some beer.  i believe i had 2 beers there.... i think.  then we went off to the softball house (the girls on the softball team have their own house like a frat/soroity.) by this time the vodka has finally met beer and they are deciding to wrestle. 

we get inside and the house is packed.  girls i think are hot are normally 2 baggers and im hitting on them with my buddy thats the dd laughing at me.  i can only remember certain things at the house and this is what i remember.  1. almost getting in a fight with an asian because i called him william hung. 2. trying to drink this girls orange juice because i was amused that it was from florida....i know, dumb. 3.  spilling a full glass of keg beer on myself and blaming it on some guy that walked by me. 

after the house, well, im not sure how we got back to the dorms and up 3 floors but we did.  i remember my buddies ex telling me i had to get off the bunk because her roomie was comming back and her roomie is HOT!!  so i decided to start taking my clothes off before they stopped me.  then mr stomach decided it was time to remind me of what i drank.  i puked all over their bathroom floor, took their white towels and laid it on there, moved it around a little and said we had to go.  woke up the next morning feeling like a champ

4 months later  buddy had a corunna and i said hey, i want to try a sip, never had that before.  the buddies ex looked at me and laughed and said yes you did.  i said no i didnt.  well i guess on top of all the liquor and beer that night at the college, i managed to finish a 6 pk of corunnas.....

whats your best story??


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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/7/2007 7:54:20 PM   
zerokreativity


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Freshman year in college a buddy of mine came to visit.  I had a 5lb tub of goldfish in my dorm room....I don't know why.  He decided to the entire tub throughout the day.  That night my girlfriend, the friend and I were drinking.  Bicardi Limon, wine coolers, vodka and mountain dew....

As the night wears on we get drunker and drunker.  My friend is the first to puke...directly into my basket of freshly washed clothes.  If you've been to college you know damn well that you don't do laundry until you have nothing left.  So my good friend lets go of goldfish colored vomit all over my entire wardrobe.  Seeing this, my girlfriend rushes to the bathroom, (as nimbly as a drunk girl can), and pukes all over my suite-mates towels.  Shortly thereafter my friend lets loose on my bed....all over a quilt my mother made for me when I left for college.

Both the quilt and my clothes were permenately stained.

I managed to pass the night without letting any alcohol come back up. *Pat on the back*


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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/7/2007 9:01:24 PM   
rangerscott


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I dont enjoy getting shit faced and puking so I just drink till the dizzyness starts.      And then some.

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/7/2007 9:06:14 PM   
Wildcat

 

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This one time, at band camp...

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/7/2007 10:14:32 PM   
voodoochyl



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My worst drunk story happened about ten years ago.  I was a "hoddy" for a brick mason during one summer.  As you know, if it weren't for beer and liquor, masons would rule the world.  We spent most lunch breaks at the local pizza joint drinking "Gustos" (those really big, big mugs of beer...you know), while my boss fed the poker machines.  Anyway, we drank quite a bit of beer for lunch this one day, and were pretty soused when we went back to work in the hot summer sun.  After the regular workday, we had a quick side job and decided to get some more beers to drink for the early evening shift.  After finishing the job (and all of the beers), we went to the bosses house for dinner, and I had a couple more beers before going home.  I ended up leaving his place in no shape to drive.  I drove down his street then turned left onto another.  When I turned left, I turned into the oncoming lane and after a few moments realized lights were coming directly toward me.  I honestly had a moment of clarity, and realized I could not physically move my arms to steer my car out of the way.  At the very last second, I managed to pull the wheel to the left and crashed into a parked car...on the wrong side of the road!  Adrenaline, shock, panick...I managed to pull over to the correct side of the road where I sat for about three seconds  then took off.  In the meantime, someone had taken my plate number.  I ended up going to a friends house, luckily didn't go home where cops were waiting off and on.  I called my mom and estranged wife and we all converged at the friend's house where we spent hours crying, yelling, hugging, fighting...the next day I turned myself in.  Six months later, I lost my liscence for ninety days...misdemeanor (no proof that I was drunk)...failure to perform the duties of a driver (hit and run).  To this day, I think about how I could have killed somebody.  What if there was someone's baby in the car that I hit?  What if I went head-on into the car infront of me and killed somebody's parents?  What if I were killed and my children had no dad?  Sorry to post such a downer, but this one reminds me of how stupid I once was.  I hope to never duplicate such complete disregard for myself and others!

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/7/2007 10:32:16 PM   
urandaman

 

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i went to to my friends after prom parties at a lake.. they rented cabins and what not.. i started downing beers, trash can punch, body shots like there was no tomorrow... i got beyond wasted and was like a pinball bouncing off everything, after about 3hrs of being sh1tfaced, i started drinkin more beer to help float the kegs.. got even more wasted sat down passsed out, woke up drank more, passed out... then someone says hey lets smoke some outta the bong... (this is when i was smokin weed every day for a few months) so i was like hell ya! took a huge rip outta the bong, exhaled,  walked out of the cabin and stood at the balcony for abotu 10mins,, then just fell over. and by fell i mean like a tree... then started throwing up all over the ground, i got to a point where i could not move, layin in my own vomit throwing up more and more.. this went on for abotu ehh 3hrs.. then finally i left the cabin and hopped in the bed of my truck and threw up even more. i got to a point where i wasnt throwing up any more and went and slept in my truck.. next morning i wake up at like 7-8am still wasted. couple of my buddies are out side cooking breakfast, they hear me start up and walk over to me.. i have the drunk face on.. jaw open 1 eye closed and a blank stare.. im still slurring my words like a mo fo. drive home with throw up dried on my shirt and face and arms still, get home walk im tell my brother :ellllooooo..ooo"(moved away from home with my bro for college) he is like holy fukc!  i pass out again wake up around 5pm and just empty my stomache again!!
i dont remember much else(prob a good thing) and i have not smoked since, and cut down on my drinking... i remember while i was layin in my own vomit how i wanted to kill myself or pass out again so the spinning and pain and tears would stop.. i wouldnt doubt that i had alcohol poisoning.


yup thats my story.. and i still hear about that night... gay!   but now i got the bike so i dont drink  much any more b/c im always on my bike and wont drink if im riding

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 1:50:16 AM   
Vermino


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once apon a time,
i woke up with my pants undone.. then looked over and saw a short-hair guy next to me in the bed. come to find out, it wasnt a man - just a really really ugly girl with short hair, i hit it one more time and then went home.

I lived happily ever after

the end


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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 2:28:14 AM   
demonchild


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I got drunk and yelled "im getting laid tonight" when my g/f showed up to my party.

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 2:34:20 AM   
Vermino


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quote:

ORIGINAL: demonchild

I got drunk and yelled "im getting laid tonight" when my g/f showed up to my party.


your were better off saying "who wants to bet i get laid tonight?" then make some money out of the deal muhaha

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 6:02:15 AM   
Bean600


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i was 22 and i got drunk as hell, went on a this local telephone chat line, end up meeting up with this chick who had the body of a goddess but a face from hell, anyways i banged her and literally ran out the house right after i was done, and when i say right after i mean right after hahaha

i avoided her calls and she left a message saying her brother is going to kill me because what i did wasnt right...guess he never found me lol

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 6:11:32 AM   
bartkid21


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mine ends with the Marine Corps handing down Non Judicial Punishment for article 34 (general article/catch all article) for underage drinking and article 121 (larceny/wrongful appropriation) for wrongfully appropriating a naval police car.

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 7:16:32 AM   
urandaman

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bartkid21

mine ends with the Marine Corps handing down Non Judicial Punishment for article 34 (general article/catch all article) for underage drinking and article 121 (larceny/wrongful appropriation) for wrongfully appropriating a naval police car.


you cant leave it at that... that story sucks! haha.. details?

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 7:24:42 AM   
JakesF2


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I was 18 with my g/f (now my wife), and we went to a party at my friends dad's house out in the boonies.
First we start drinking beer then start making margaritas/mixed drinks.  We are all getting pretty trashed, there was about 25 of our close friends there. We decide that its time to jump in the hot tub, a bunch of people squeeze in, my g/f and I included.  Well drunkeness started taking over and we started fooling around in front of everybody, don't know how I did it I usually don't have the courage to try that stuff in front of other people.  As the night went on people got bored with the hot tub and soon we were by ourselves.  Needless to say we took our clothes off and started... well you know!!!  HAHAHA
After awhile I move over and get on top and when I look up EVERYBODY is standing there watching us have sex.  Wow that really shocked me, of course after seeing everyone I couldn't finish and my friend whose house it was didn't want to clean the hot tub so he made us get out. 
After the excitement we drank some more and there was some talk of streaking going around and after having some more beers and joking around about it I was the first one out there running around the yard in my birthday suit. I figured everyone already witnessed me having sex who cares now...
Well of course something had to happen while everyone came out to join me in the streaking fun.
I decided to jump over a flood lamp in the ground so everyone on the deck could see my beautiful naked body, and when I did I looked right into the light and became blinded (stupid drunk balance), when I kept running I ran right into a concrete windmill and broke it in half.  After I got up from the ground I went inside ass naked and sat on the couch in pain.  My friend tried to get me to take 8 advils while I was totally wasted (great idea).  My g/f helped me get my clothes on and then she drove me home. 
What a night...
Now, I don't drink as much as that night but I like to come close.

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 7:33:25 AM   
Ruthless


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.....which story? The Jack Daniel's or the Tequillia stories? I have a hard time remembering any of them. I've woken up to alot a broken stuff though and wonder why the wife is mad.

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RE: Your best drunk story - 8/8/2007 9:07:43 AM   
AudiCBR


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i was going to pittsburgh with some guys from the gym in my audi.  so this was new year's eve eve...and we're drinkin beers on the way down...so we're at the club and im  sorta drunk....so i remember leaving....fast forward about 5 hours....i wake up in the back of a state trooper car(PA--they had found me walking down some road...which i dont remember)...and their like "were bringing you to your car"....i'm like OK...nothin else...I have no clue whats going on or where I'm at.  So we get out and im lookin at my car totally ****in smashed up but backed in perfectly in between two spots...so then there like do you know where your at?...so I told em I was in brookfield OHIO(it just blurted out)...and there like NO your in pittsburgh...so for about 2 minutes we argued where I was at.....and they trumped me by showing me there shoulder patch that said (PA STATE TROOPER)....so then get this...my car is missing both drivers side tires...the headlight....and the fronts smashed in ....but the only thing left was my military license plate.  there was a line in the ground that led to my car where my rims had been slicing into the pavement.  and you could follow it all the way down the road lol.  so they asked if i had been to iraq and i was about to leave so they let me off scott free.  they were like "we dont know what u hit but no ones called so..." lol....so anyways i had to call a tow truck from youngstown to there...so then i had to tell my insurance some BS to get it fixed.  tried deer jumped but then they investigated and found i had hit a telephone pole in downtown Pitts...and my body man said judging by how much of the rim was gone...i had been driving for 30 minutes around town sparking before I finally stopped.  I was supposed to have friends with me too ...no friends to be found....next day so i go into the gym and they're like "hows your car??" and im like how the **** do you know...and here they said i had love tapped the other guy who was driving, at this stop sign and that he got mad and floored it backwards at me(i have no clue if this is bs or not i dont remember)...we were supposedly going to an after party....so we get there and then they said I told them i was going to go down to my car to sleep and they come out and im gone.  so i left 3 guys in Pittsburgh and for 5 hours I have no accountability of where I was, if i even drove, if anything.  I think someone drugged me at this techno bar.  to this day i dunno if they wrecked it and just left me or what...

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